Battle Scars
by minkage
Summary: She always strives to be independent but she never shows how hard it is to be alone. (Slight PTSD and major panic attacks).


**A/N - Sabrina has slight PTSD but it's mostly intense panic attacks. Do not read if triggered by any of these things. Also, please leave a review if I should continue this as a two-shot where one of the family members or Puck finds out!**

 **Happy reading!**

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The demons are crawling on her skin. She fights a scream as they wriggle down her legs, wrap around her arms, and try to sink inside.

She's panting, gasping, but she begins to fight again. It's usually a few more minutes until she gives up, but she can never get them away.

Trying to breathe, she focuses on the happy days she's traveling through.

Remember sunshine laughter kisses icecream rainbows babies puppies friends - the smile of a backstabber - grades boys flirtings fingers touches pumping legs smiles intimacy pretty excuses _love_ \- the murder that burns in their eyes - carnivals mickey mouse headbands skirts shyness every eye on her -

Something flickers at the corner of her eye and she screams, a loud and high soprano - _songs words holding hands braided hair chocolate eyes pouty lips adorable smile_ \- as lightning slides off of a pale wrist.

She curls into a small, fetal position, clenching her teeth and bracing herself for the pain that will ride her body.

It slams into her body brutally and pain rings through her blood, traveling with her blood, to her heart and swarming her mind - _red curly hair chubby arms glinting green burbling laughter sweaty body stuffed with sunshine about to SPLIT_ \- and her arms and legs and face and neck and chest and abdomen scream with torture.

Sabrina swallows hard, swallowing the words and screams and pleas down her throat so the Scarlet Hand will know that they haven't broke her.

She doesn't know when it stopped because the after pain is tingling through her body and it's like the demons are controlling the way her nerves work - _GENTLE FINGERS QUIVERING BREATH WARM EYES DARK HAIR -_ and the way her brain sends controls because of the overdose of poison so she can no longer tell what she's feeling.

Please please please please please please please let it be over.

Her thirst is straining and burning from the bottles and bottles of poison she's swallowed and she'll cough her lungs up if she continues to drink and drink.

Sabrina takes a deep breath in, out, - _WARMTH BACK HUGS LAUGHTER RUMBLING FROM HIS CHEST DEEP CHUCKLES CHIN ON HER SHOULDER WHISPERED WORDS AGAINST HER JAW_ \- in, out, then in again.

She's starting to shake like a leaf and she huddles into her blankets, relieved that her sense are being screwed back into the holes of her mind.

Cold sweat slides down her neck like droplets of blood and she shivers, hugging herself. She closes her eyes, breathing deeply as if washing the demons and inflicted pain out of her body.

Her shivering breath slides from her mouth and she counts the numbers one two three four five six seven eight nine ten, repeating it five times until she knows that the nightmares won't torture her again.

"Sabrina! Are you ready yet?" a voice calls, it sounds murky like she's in underwater so she shakes her head.

She gets up, trembling slightly, and she steadies herself on her feet.

She walks slowly to the small bathroom connected to her room and stares at herself.

Her eyes are dull and tortured, her skin is pale and sickly, and the monsters drew tired lines under her eyes. Her head begins to pound and she pinches her cheeks, trying to return blood into them.

The chilled sweat slicks her skin so she turns the handles of the sink and washes her face.

Her hands reaches around the walls for the towel and she wipes her face roughly.

Blood pumps through her veins sluggishly and every breath is like inhaling dust and oh god, the throbbing in her head has escalated so much that she can't see straight.

A groan escapes her lips and she opens the medicine cabinet and grabs the bottle of aspirin. Her fingers are shaking and so is her vision. Her fingers twist the cap desperately.

The cap pops off after what seems like a millennium and she pours the tabs of aspirin into her hand.

She's not thinking how many land into her palm as the downpour of tabs clatter against the tiled floor. The tap is still running and she's swaying from side to side as she grabs the clear plastic cup and holds it under the outpour.

When the cup is halfway full, she shoves the aspirin into her mouth and forces it down with the water.

She gasps, slamming the cup onto the rim and holding her stomach. She grunts, breathing short gasps as the vision begins to distort. It's flipping from side to side and she's not sure why maybe it's the swaying of her feet or the thumping in her head.

"SABRINA! IT'S TIME TO GO!" a voice shouts and Sabrina jumps, started.

"Coming...comi - Coming!" Sabrina shouts, holding her stomach as the world shifts before steadying itself.

She stumbles out of her bathroom and closes the door to it.

She goes to her vanity and grabs the concealer, clenching the bottle in her fist as the concealer runs into her hand. She tosses it aside and rubs it vigorously under her eyes. When she's finished, she studies herself in the mirror and smooths out the uneven lines. She works the muscles in her cheeks and forces a smile to her face. It slides off pathetically.

Sabrina sighs and digs her nails into the flesh of her palms. She clenches her teeth before sticking a bright, fake smile on her face. She looks at herself quickly in the mirror and her face no longer looks tortured by demons.

Keeping the smile on her face, she walks out the door.


End file.
